


THE ROOM CHOCOLATE SCENE BUT IT'S GAY MEN™

by orphan_account



Series: The Room Au [1]
Category: The Room (2003), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Aged up characters, Alternate Universe - No Stands (JoJo), Alternate Universe -The Room (2003), Crack Treated Seriously, Diavolo dies so it's canon, END MY MISERY, Exhibitionism, Food Kink, I HAVE SINNED AGAINST OUR GREAT LORD AND SAVIOR, M/M, Mild Smut, Mista just dragged Giorno into this, Ok now that I'm done freaking out, Please Kill Me, Sexual Humor, THE TAGS, This is canon shut up, crack smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23065150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Chocolate Scene™ from the room but it's Giorno and MistaAlso Dio is there to record it, edit it, and then sell it as sex tapesThat's it, that is literally it.Dear god save my soul
Relationships: Giorno Giovanna & Dio Brando, Giorno Giovanna/Guido Mista, Pannacotta Fugo/Narancia Ghirga/Trish Una (Mentioned)
Series: The Room Au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717756
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	THE ROOM CHOCOLATE SCENE BUT IT'S GAY MEN™

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SCREAMING PLEASE HELP ME I'M SPIRALING INTO INSANITY
> 
> THIS IS NOT HEALTHY
> 
> WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
> 
> Edit: Tried making this more cohorent, so I turned off my brain to actually write this properly

Giorno was tired, no, he was more than tired. He was drained, exhausted, burnt out, worn out, fatigued, frazzled, and any other word in your thesaurus that you can find

Basically, ya homeboy wanted to take a long and serious nap

He and his homo friend Mista enter Giorno's Father's house. Dio, Giorno's father, didn't seem to currently be there. Giorno was glad, he seriously didn't want to deal with Dio at that time. If Giorno had to be honest fam, he would only ever want to talk to Dio every once in 4 months. It wasn't that Dio was a horrible parent, _~~(Yes he is lmao, haha)~~_ , it was just that Dio was ridiculously overbearing, one could call Dio a **b o o m e r** and a **k a r e n.** Not something Giorno wanted to have the burden to deal with it honestly. 

"You ok, Gio?" Mista asked him worriedly as he set down a box of chocolate that he had bought earlier down on the table. Seating himself on the couch, he watches Giorno worriedly as the blonde plopped himself on the same couch he was seated on. Mista opens the box, and takes out one of chocolates to eat. "I'm fine." Giorno replies curtly, and Mista tries again, popping the chocolate into his mouth. "You sure dude? You look fucking exhausted" 

"Yes, I just....I talked to Fugo earlier" Mista grins and shakes his head, letting out a low whistle. "Hoo boy, Trish situation?". Nodding, Giorno frowns "Trish situation." He deadpans, and Mista laughs his ass off while Gio boy looks at him like he was boutta strangle this mf. "Gio, why do you even bother? You know how difficult the three are. Trish is a fucking sociopath, Fugo has a short temper, and Narancia is.... interesting." Sighing again, Giorno shrugs. "They're my friends, Mista, I need to help them". Mista shakes his head, and retorts. "You know what you need, Gio?"

Giorno looks to him confused, "A long and quiet nap I'll never wake up from?"

"Wh-- no" Mista shakes his head, the situation must be _**T H A T**_ bad "You need some stress relief Giorno," He leans in. and they make out, yes this is happening,right there on Dio's couch. Dio aka Giorno Giovanna's father, aka Karen McBrandoTits, this was a bad idea. That's not considering the fact that Dio really... _disliked_ Mista, Seriously, Dio would throw Mista out of a window everyday if it was legal, which it wasn't, so 4 times every 4 months had to do. Giorno breaks it off.

'What if someone walks in?" Giorno asked uncertainly, looking around as if Dio would pop out at any second

"You'll like it"

"Mista,"

"Am I wrong?"

Giorno gives off an exasperated sigh 

"He's my _father."_

Mista chuckles, stroking Giorno's leg

"Since when have you cared who's watching you for you to get off, _bitch?”_

" _Mista"_

" _Giorno”_

"I swear to _god”_

"You will" Mista gives him a smug grin, resting his face on his palm

He was tired, of _everything._ He's had to deal with so much shit today, too much for one man's sanity. The stupid Narancia, Fugo and Trish situation, his fucking job and the fact that he literally spent so much time into it but got such low wage, college, studying, women trynna get his pp even if he was CLEARLY NOT INTERESTED FUCK _OFF_ ** _S A N D R A_**. Giorno just wanted sleep, and now here he was having to babysit a horny Mista. Why must God forsake him in his time of need, he just wants a nap, _one simple goddamn nap._

Giorno huffs, if he was gonna deal with this horny bullshit, he was gonna be in charge, cause that's the kind of person he was. A power bottom, it was definitely from Dio. Cringing from remembering all the memories of the unholy sounds that came from Dio's rooms, he decides that yes, he was going to entertain this. Besides, he had a really bad day, it wasn't wrong to have some _fun_ is it? He leans against the seat of the couch, pulling on his collar slightly while he grabbed one piece of chocolate, putting it between is teeth. He didn't put it all the way in his mouth, nibbling on it a little bit. "I will?" He hums thoughtfully, wobbling the chocolate in his lips slightly. The chocolate was really sweet, so he couldn't help nut lick it a bit. God, he just wanted to eat the chocolate, it was strawberry flavored, his favorite. 

"Don't tease me with a good time" Mista leans over, and gets on top of Giorno, smirking smugly as he looked down to him. "You might be in over your head". Then he leans in and they do the kissy kissy thing, sharing the chocolate between their connected mouths, mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah. 

Giorno places a trail of chocolate down Mista's body, looking up to him as if he were asking for permission. "Do it periodt" He commands,and Giorno nods. Giorno eats all of them sloppily, leaving a trail of saliva and melted chocolate on Mista's body. He licks it clean, and then he goes lower, and lower, until...

"I'm proud of you, son!" A voice suddenly called out from behind them, a voice that was all too familiar...

 _"FATHER?!”_ Giorno looks behind his back, only to his horror to see his father holding a camera while staring at Giorno smugly.

"Smile for the camera, _bitch._ " His smile was conceited as he took a picture of Giorno kneeling between Mista's knees, looking to the camera terrified with his lips smeared with chocolate while Mista was too horny to even register anything.

"This isn't what it looks like!"

"I've been here the whole time, son"

" _Oh”_

"I have to say, Gio, I didn't know you inherited this much from me. My clients are certainly going to be pleased" Dio chuckles

" _CLIENTS?!”_

"Yes, the ones who buy the sex tapes I film, but you already know about this" His voice was sweet, but there was so much mockery behind it that it was practically dripping off of his tongue.

Giorno sighs and shakes Mista to ruse him from his horny state, which was quite hard, like _OTHER_ things.

 _**Ba Dum Tss** _

Next time Mista had a terrible idea, Giorno was going to choke Mista until he passed out

But he'd probably like that.... hmm

>────────────────────────────────<⋆✩⋆>────────────────────────────────<

"Man. I'm having such a fun time today living.' Diavolo says as he walks down the street. "I sure do hope I don't get run over by a Toyota Carolla 1968." He says, and after waiting for a few minutes on the middle of the street with nothing happening Diavolo smiles satisfied

Then he gets run over a Toyota Carolla 1969

Then Diavolo dies lmao, this is canon now

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this abomination I just-
> 
> *cries*
> 
> Also this fic is shorter than I usually write, not even with just the length of the work, but with the length of the paragraphs. Prolly cause I'm crack writing, and whenever I write smut I crack write it lmao.
> 
> If the plot of this fic seems as cohesive as The Room, then that wasn't intentional but DAMN is rhat perfect. Anyways back to my nap now. It's 12 am as I'm writing this sentence
> 
> Update: Currently 6 Am as i am writng this. I hate it, but I'm too tired amd pissed to care


End file.
